My break between classes and a meeting.
I am incredibly fortunate to even have the luxury of asking this question. Well partly. I HAVE to work. The question is whether or not I will do it outside of the house.
I currently work 10 hours per week outside my home. When I took my current job, I thought it would be perfect. I’d have a steady stream of income, and I’d get to spend most of my days with my kids.
However, it’s kind of the worst of both worlds.
It could be because I’m a teacher, and I have to bring work home with me. Or it could be because I wasn’t really ready to leave my babies.
More often than not, I get everyone to bed and do a brief clean up of the house and bottles and things we will need for the morning. And when I’m done with that — I lesson plan, i grade, I answer emails. Then, if I still have energy, I write (my work from home job).
All of that would be good and well except for the fact that two days a week, I then have to get up at five to go teach. And those are, without fail, the two days per week that my babies actually sleep till seven.
Then, that means I wind up going to work on 3-4 hours of sleep. One fateful morning, I walked into the student desks so many times, I’m sure they thought there was something seriously wrong with me.
When I get home about noon, there is no downtime. No decompression. My husband either heads straight to work or my mom leaves immediately. Most days I don’t get to change my clothes or have a glass of water for 2-3 hours after I get home.
It just makes me wonder what is the cost of it all.
It also makes me pretty annoyed about this current push for moms to have it all. I thought it sounded perfect. I can keep teaching (which I love) and I can spend a majority of my days with my babies (which is my priority). Not so, says reality. There are only so many hours in a day and only so many things you can truly pay attention to at one time.
This is definitely not a judgment. I’m sure this works great for some moms. It’s just not working for me!
If you want both, that’s great. If you want a career, fantastic! If you want to be a stay at home mom, more power to you! I truly believe every woman should be able to choose, but to say that a woman should juggle all of this is ridiculous. Unfair. And so stressful that it affects all aspects of health.
I will admit that I’m doing this the very hard way. I’m sure there are some super moms out there who are able to better balance it all. Set limits. Foster their own interests and work.
At this point, I’m still looking for that. Maybe it will be in writing. Maybe it will be in teaching. Maybe I’ll get tired of being a stay at home mom. Maybe I won’t.